The Bride and the Dream
by PAGANE
Summary: Len Kahoko Yunoki; as Len departs for Europe,Kahoko is left behind heartbroken..Yunoki streches his hand in comfort and offers her something every girl would dream about.But what about her dream?
1. Chapter 2 remnants of Len

Her moments with Len were running in front of her eyes, like being projected from an old cinema camera,which she could not turn off……..as much as she wanted,she just could not find the switch off button. Kahoko completely exhausted her mind, trying to confine those memories in its furtherest corner. And now they were loosened free ,to take possession of her soul once again….

All was there,to the last detail- his presence,his scent, his voice and his music…Gosh,his music – how she missed all of it.

One by one, all moments were restored in the right order- the first time she saw him,then the first time she heard his performance and also the first time she felt her heart pound faster in his presence. It was then she realized she liked him,despite his cold, uneasy personality. She managed to reach out to him and relate with his soul through the music, get to know him better and finally – to fell in love with him.

But why ?

Only to be rejected in the end, and pushed away in favor of the very music, that ironically brought them together.

No.

She must not blame it on the music.

Kahoko knew very well the real reason – he just could not overcome his overwhelming ambission to reach heights of a great performer. He believed he was born for that purpose and when she appeared in his life- in the end ,she turned out to be a mere distraction in his path to perfection. She knew he loved her and her music in his own way…. Still Len gave up on her in the end.

He was terrified that loving her would cause him lose focus on his way to achieve his purpose.

' I hope you can understand and forgive me one day…….but before that, I might never be able to forgive myself ……The path of perfectioning my music is the only way I have in life. It is my destiny. I know I can not make you happy. You deserve better than me…'

And then his golden-coated blue eyes glistened with tears,that never fell down. Like the most gleaming two little lakes on earth. His lips rested briefly on her forehead and his arms folded around her for the last time in warm embrace. She could clearly hear his heartbeat.

'If that is what you really want.…Then I will be happy too for you. I am perfectly OK...see! I am really fine and I will support your decision'- these were her words back then. She forced a smile on her lips, tried to look cheerful and encourage him.

'This is what I MUST….' he whispered and then turned away and left…..not looking back…not even once.

That was the kind of man he was and that was the way she loved him.

* * *

He never tried kissing her lips....not even in those really close moments they shared.

But nevertheless, she was so happy with everything they had done together. He was an excellent dancer – taught her Vienna waltz...The rare time he could be seen laughing was when he was with her. Holding hands when watching the sunset in the park. Playing violin together - well she was completely out of his league,but still they enjoyed every note performed together….Spending hours in talking about important things or casually about silly things…She even showed him how to eat fast food…it was a funny sight when he first tasted a burger. And when the big exhibiton of the great impressionists was in town,they spent all day lost in the world of painters art. After that passionately sharing impressions.

Boy…did she miss that time…………….

How is he now?

Is he doing fine?Of course he misses her too, but he's able to controll his emotions far better than her. In that she sucked.

Len asked her not to keep in touch – the only request he had. May be it was even harder on him, because he was all alone now- only him and his violin .

At least she had Yunoki and all her friends to help her through this lonely time. He only had his dream of the future as great musician.

The only way to be with him in this path was to perform beside him. But that seemed like an impossible thing to do. She could never reach such level to follow him into that world of contests and concerts – only that dream she could not share with him. She always played music because she loved it, and not because she wanted to pursue music perfection.

She sighed.

Here she'd done it again – thinking of him, when already married to the dark prince on her own will.

Kahoko felt she needed her violin….. Only music could put her heart at ease right now….

* * *

' You really are improving…This piece sounded much more refined than the last time I listened to it…' familiar friendly voice came to her from the door entrance…….

'Would you grant me the pleasure of me accompaning you on the piano?' his face was bright as the sun, not a trace of insatisfaction or darkness clouding it. He truly seemed free from his anger against the world. Amazing change in such a short period……

'Of course….I would be delighted !' – she smiled at him and blushed in a shyly manner…..

'Nothing more pleasurable than me playing in a duet with my lovely,little wife…Well,...almost nothing…' His eyes sparkled in a quite mischievous way…

The music began flowing, turning into various shapes and colours in her mind…….her eyelids closed,her heart filled with light and delight. She felt connecting with his soul through the world of the wonderful world of sounds. What kind of man was he she could not tell with words, but she could feel in her heart right in this moment.

Yunoki was excellent pianist. Although his major was flute, he had natural talent for piano and matched even to Tsuchiura skills. The first time she witnessed him play, she was amazed, losing her words after his fluent performance…

'Just one more of my little surprises I have for you…' he laughed ,obviously amuzed by her reaction. 'Do you think I deserve a reward?'

'What kind of reward?'

'I'll tell you when the time is right' …………………………..

* * *

They spent the rest of the day together – enjoying their music, walking in the park hand in hand, talking about various topics. Yunoki was very educated man, possessing broad knowledge in history, culture and art. Whenever she asked him questions about anything, he would always have an answer or a story on the side. It was actually very interesting and educating to listen to him. She was used to the old ways of him always teasing her and never really talk to her. Now everything was so different…

In the evening they had a nice dinner in Yunoki's favorite resturant. He was polite like a true gentleman and gave her the impression she was a real princess. At the end of the evening they went together to observe the blood shaped sunset on the highest hill in town – the place, where the most beautiful view was at display…Kahoko stayed infront, Yunoki was a little behind her.

She and Len used to come to this place often..But recalling that now, did not seem to bother her much as she expected….Was she more composed and accepting reality…or did she finally started to open up her heart for her husband…

'Thank you Azuma – I really spent a wonderful day…My mind and heart are at ease now…..'

'Anything I can do for you in my power to make you feel better, I will…because seeing you happy is the only thing that fills my heart with joy…..'

She turned and they faced each other, drowning into each others eyes…the air became thinner, time ceased to exist. He pulled her passionately in his arms. Feeling his warm body against hers,his fingers buried in her hair, Hino trembled with excitement and felt dizzy…May be it was the wine?

His breathing turned deep and heavy, his eyes – demanding and piercing through her..…

'I want you….more than any woman in my life…'- his lips were touching her ear as he spoke those words in a deep,somewhat darker voice..

'I am tired of waiting…Tonight I will make you mine Hino Kahoko,…and once and for all you will forget about him….And besides- you still owe me that reward....'

The scattered remnants of her moments with Len began to fade away….She closed her eyes and gave in to this man's strong desire..It seemed her will to resist it, was completelty devoured by his passion..

'Yes…..' she hardly found strength to whisper back….

* * *

ENJOY !!!


	2. Chapter 3 feelings

The sunlight rays were making their way playfully through the trees crown of green into the vast bedroom. Kahoko opened her eyes, blinking against the irritating morning light streaming from the window. Then she slowly focused them on the man, sleeping peacefully beside her- his head on her bosom, his arm wrapped tightly around her body even in his sleep. His long hair was spread like a fine silk fabric over his shoulders and onto the pillow. In this moment, bathed in the shower of the morning light, he was simply a vision of a masterpiece painting.

Kaho touched his shoulders gently with her fingertips. Then touched the elbow of his left arm. Unsurely but curiously,she continued exploring the surface of his skin…her fingers moved to his graceful back, drawing various shapes on it…

How they got here yesterday night, she could not tell. She remembered only that at one point the world was spinning round faster and faster and then she lost sense of time or reality. Every sensation of touch, fear and pain gradually blended into a colourful dimension of undescribable pleasure.

She let him love her, freed from all her sorrows and regrets. And so he did.

It was a long night.

* * *

' I like the way you are now… delicate and fragile. A girl, who just became a woman. I can do whatever I want to you…now that you're all mine.' His eyes, no longer closed in sleep were now fixed on her. All that they reflected was warmness and affection.

'And what will that be…you sound scary Yunoki sama. Should I call for help'.. Hino trailed her fingertips across his forehead, around his eyebrow until she reached his lips. He parted them and took the tips in his mouth, his eyes never losing sight of her own. Then gently brushed them with the tip of his tongue. Hino felt hot wave run through her body, and a funny cramp in her stomach. Her cheeks were burning and since she could not bear his gaze anymore, turned her head aside.

' You want me..'

'No..no..it's not that....'

'Then what is it…You're so lost in the world of flesh, you need serious guidance..' soft laughter...

'I don't know….I was curious to touch your skin and feel it with my fingers. Like when I play violin. And when you did this…I…felt funny cramping in my stomach.'…

Yunoki's arms tightend around her waist and he tugged his head under her chin. Hino could not see his face anymore. Only hear his voice. She wrapped her arms around him in return in one complete embrace.

'Your innocence never ceases to amaze me…but soon it will be corrupted, like all nice things in this world. It will turn to ashes. And out of these ashes a new creature will arise. Once the innocent girl is gone, a woman would blossom in her place.'

'Is that a good thing?'

'Yes…' – he smiled mysteriously…..Only a real woman could take a possession of a man's heart. Girls are silly and funny. Easy target to be teased and yourself should now that better than anyone.'

'I remember those times well…. I resented you for that in the beggining. But as soon as I witnessed all your sides, I guess I accepted that part of you as well. And recently it's even gone…

'Don't be so sure. It's just buried deep down…until it finds opportunity to rise and shine again.- he turned his face towards hers and his white teeth shone in a wide grin.

Hino frowned and pushed him angrily away.

'I dare you try it…'

Fast as panther he got on top of her and nailed her hands down on the bed .Then leaned over her and talked in her ear in a much too familiar manner….

'You are defenceless against me. Don't you forget it. You're not a true woman yet…'

'And you…you don't scare me any more…- she returned his gaze bravely, her expression full of confidence.

With her hands still pinned down by his, she managed to raise her head and reached for his lips. She knew he would be overwhelmed by her bold action. And she was not mistaken…

'You learn your ways of a woman really fast…But now I will show you the way of the men. When you play with fire you might get burnt…'

"May be I want to get burnt' ..That was the last straw thrown in the fire. Yunoki took action to shut this bold mouth with wild kisses for good…and Hino did not plan on resisting it either.

In a flash she imagined a graceful wild beast, feasting on her innocence…

* * *

'How are you feeling?' – Yunoki planted a light kiss on her shoulder. Hino was laying one-sidedly with her back turned towards him. This time it was he who was stroking her back gently. ' I didn't overdo it? Did I? …he sounded concerned.

'No, I'm fine…Just a little tired, and very hungry…It must be past noon now....and also I definitely need a shower….'- her left hand fingers were playing on imaginary piano, as she spoke…

'Which piece is that?'

'Chopin , Fantasie Impromtue…I feel as I am the very piece itself right now. Would you play it for me later…I always love to listen to your performing it.'

'Of course…how could I refuse you anything in this moment. As soon as we manage somehow to get out of this bed, I will play it especially for you…' He drew closer to her and planted another kiss, this time on the curve of her neck…'which I don't have a clue how would happen…I kind of enjoy this belated wedding night, I mean day…whatever... I waited a long time for this.'

'Was it worthed… the waiting…'

'Well…I would have preferred if you had more experience with these kind of things, but I guess it's fine like this too…and before you say anything: of course I'm joking. I am lucky to be the first to pick up such innocent flower. Also you got potential to bloom even prettier…I don't remember when I realized I loved spending time with you . I deliberatley searched for your company. Your cheerful presence, your ringing laughter, your music…and now this-- just adds the finishing touch to all I share with you…I guess this would be the closest to happy I've been.'

'You loved?…you once said that love is a silly emotion…Is it possible that you 'loved' doing these things with me..

'I am capable of controlling my emotions. I'm practice that since childhood- reality gave me a good lesson on that part…so don't get the wrong idea. My love for you would never get out of control.'

He was still caressing her arms…exploring them in the full length way up and way down….

'I don't know what I am feeling for you…' Hino said quietly...

'I know. I don't mind. In time you'll get clear with your feelings…What's most important is that my touch is not unpleasant to you… You don't resent me as a man.

'No…I don't. I like you very much…but I feel that something is missing…'

'The void will fill in, when the time comes..

'What if that time never comes?"

'It will.' his voice was stern and clear.

…………………………………………….

'Will it?' Hino asked herself….Will it really come a time when her heart would stop aching for Len and this man who was giving her comfort as a friend and pleasure as a man would find his way to her heart in the place of Len?

She finally faced her true feelings here - lying in Yunoki's arms after allowing him to make love to her for hours.

Hino did not want Len being replaced by anyone.

She wanted him there in her heart, planted deeply like a bleeding nail.

She needed this pain to constantly remind her she's alive.

She turned around and faced her husband. He unnoticably had fallen asleep with exhaustion, and his expression was like she remembered it from this morning. One of an angel. Hino pulled up the sheets and covered their naked bodies. Then cuddled in his arms and closed her eyes too. She took a deep breath and inhaled his body scent- it was sweet…even his sweat was sweet.

Yes – she didn't lie when she said that she liked him. His embrace was like a shelter from the storms for her, but…perhaps he would never be able to erase the image of Len.

Yunoki's rhythmic breathing soothed Kahoko and soon she too sailed off to the land of dreams…


	3. Chapter 1 the wedding night

….She kept still, staring at the reflection in the mirror- the silk wedding gown, the pearls on her neck, the fresh blossoms sparkling in her hair : an image of a princess…The eyes were pleased of what they were seeing, but the heart was somehow rejecting that beauty in the mirror.  
Why it felt like a cold shiver went through her chest?  
Kahoko convinced herself, she might be happy this way: after all - there was nothing left for her anymore, but this…and she made the choice on her own .

When ? Yes…that's right…it was in that crucial moment, destiny sent upon her…

She had accepted the soothing, gentle arms of Azuma's embrace, after he found her amost drowned in her own tears that evening Len departed for Europe. He appeared out of nowhere as usual, from the shadows - in a moment,when she needed the support of a true friend the most.

She remembered his words, spoken in his usual mean manner : that crying like that would make her look even more silly and that she would spoil the little beauty granted by heavens.

'This is the first time I see you so weak!'- he also added.

The soft voice in which he spoke those mean to the stranger's ears words, his familiar presence - she so much needed them in that instance. She accepted his embrace for the first time. Resting in it, trembling like a small hurt child, she was searching for warmth. His hands-stroking the red hairs so gently, posessed a soothing touch.  
It was a warm place here,in his arms….she felt the tears slowly drying up.  
Emotionally exhausted and sleepy, she closed her red-swollen eyes… He picked her up and carried her away to a place,where she could rest her tormented heart and mind.

WHY LEN? WHY? DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH?

She was acting brave till the moment she saw Len's vague siluett disappear in the far distance. Not even once he looked back, not even once…Suddenly, when she could no longer see him, emotions poured out of her heart in a shape of bitter river of tears.

And then he came - out of nowhere, a dark angel sent to save her.

WILL YOU MARRY ME,KAHOKO?

I will never allow anyone to hurt you anymore. I'll protect you with everything I have , make everybody in my family accept you. Will you take me as a husband...my cluless, violinist girl?

YUNOKI SENPAI- are you sure about that? How exactly do you feel about me?

Don't ask stupid questions little girl. Emotions make people weak, as you experienced for yourself....You mean enough for me to offer you my protection and loyalty. Rest assured – I'm different than him and won't leave you….

Yes,why did she asked him this unnecessary question in the first place. With his actions all he ever did,was proving he truely cared for her. Even when he teased her for his own amusment in his usual,arrogant manner - she knew he never really held ill intentions.  
That was just part of him.  
And she actually always felt safe in his presense, although he had given her quite contraversal emotions and irritated her many times.

She hated the weakness of her heart right now, for making her suffer like this…She also hated Len, for letting go of her and follow his own way, without her. The path he was taking did not cross anywhere with her own path.

Is a path of a great musician stained with loneliness? - she wondered..

Why did Len ever chose not to have her beside him and bleed inside instead...may be one day, she would know the answer, but not now.

NOW she would forget about him by all means…she simply had no choice - she'd always been strong and would put all effort to fight this stupid heart of hers. She just could not do it ALL by herself.  
She needed someone, a close person to hold on to, and to help her forget….Asuma Yunoki.....

YES- …..AZUMA ! Her voice trembled as she managed to swallowed the 'san' suffix. He spotted that and smiled for an instant, as his eyes narrowed and looked at her in a slightly smaller way.

Kahoko did not take a notice of THAT look.

* * *

Music in the garden

'So this time is not a pretence? It's for real,eh?…Who would have thought this scene back then with Ayano would become reality …Hihara...If only he knew…'  
She felt the warmness of his breath sweeping up her right ear,as he spoke gently behind her….

"How do you feel now,brand new Mrs Yunoki? For once I must admitt - you make a really pretty bride. This gown I ordered from Paris - it was like it was made especially for you. I must be very lucky guy to posess you , Mrs Kahoko Yunoki.'  
He told himself Len's subject would never to be brought up, so he didn't express all he had in mind. He did respect her feelings and in that moment - he perhaps truly believed he could make her happy,..more than Len, more than all the others that admired that ordinary,but somewhat extraordinary red-haired girl…

These were the nicest words she had ever heard him say to her in this sincere manner. She turned her sparkling green eyes to meet his.

'I feel,….well-….i'm happy I guess… in the end- every girl's dream is to be a pretty bride of a prince. I could not imagine now how your countless girlfans would hate me..'  
She looked up at his face again,exploring every feature on it.  
He truly was beautiful - like a painting, born under the brush of a great artist-….so what is it, that kept her heart still closed to these enchanting eyes…

LEN, why are you still here, in my small,tormented heart?-she chased away the thought that flashed her mind in a blink of an eye.

He laughed softly,coming closer to her, but still - not touching .'You don't need to worry about that, or anything from now on.'

'Shall we advance to the garden? I have a small surprise for you!'- he took her hand in his and lead her the way.

In the garden of the house, the most splendid view revealed before her sight. As if the flowers of all heavens were arranged there , to greet the newly-weds, blending in a fantastic rainbow of colours. In the middle-a marble table was settled, covered with dishes that contained exquisite delicaces and fresh fruits.  
Also a bottle of champaigne and 2 crystal glasses, decorated with silk white ribbon were waiting….Kahoko felt like entering a fairy-tale scene. Then may be just for a moment her heart brightened and felt a touch of happiness.

Yunoki helped her to her seat,while he himself got hold on the silver flute,placed near by…..

Their eyes met again-….he could clearly see they became brighter...He smiled,bent his head down and laid his lips gently on one eye, than the other. Kahoko could not believe this attitude - was he for real this time?She wanted to believe he is - that both his sides - the bright and the dark blended together, are all him: true part of this unusual man,her husband.

'I don't want to see those eyes swallen-red from crying never ever again.'

Then he put the flute to his mouth,and a wonderful tune started flowing out of it,like a glentle breeze floating over a mountin spring…She remembered when he first performed this tune for her, in one other garden, at one other place. Kahoko remembered feeling so tense,so flushed with emotions back then - her first romantic experience got her mind mixed up. She even could not sleep that night. That romance back then and also now was granted by this men, and not by….'NO,i don't want even to say his name'…..She listened to Azuma's music: when he played his flute, he seemed out of this world.'If there was anything this heart of his ever loved truely – was music'- she tought….The gentle sounds, flowing magically from the instrument were delicately embracing them ,filling her heart with pure and utter beauty.

'Thank you Kahoko…' –a whisper…

She knew what he was thankful for….because of her, he never gave up on his music and awakened his desire to enjoy life once more.

__________________

The first night….

'Do you want me to leave?'

His voice was quiet, calm, almost begging.  
Kahoko had never heard him speak to her in this soft manner - like she was a porcelain statue and he was concerned the very vibrance of his voice would break her…  
She was perplexed again: this guy - he was like a puzzle to her and she never knew how to put the pieces propperly, so she can read it right….  
This Yunoki - she never knew this side of him.

She knew very well about the fake politeness he displayed in public, but this was so much different. As if this time his voice came from the depths of his soul - she somehow sensed only that.

'I don't know….I'm…a little afraid…I - have not even really been kissed yet…'

'Do you want to be kissed?' his tember raised, but still- very gently…'By me.?.'

She looked straight into his eyes ,startled….A memory flashed in the back of her mind: he was at a brink of kissing her in his casual, toying manner several times before, but actually he never did….

'By him?' she thought…..I wish I have been kissed by...-...NO,I don't wish for that anymore-she restrained this fullish heart of her again…

'Yes,I do…- she answered in crystal clear voice, determintion burning in her eyes…

Abruptly she felt herself being pulled by his delicate arms in a surprisingly tight embrace.  
His hot lips all over her own now, in a long breathless kiss….Softness, warmth, moisture…

After a while he pulled away slowly,but still- keeping her close to him.

'How was this for a first kiss?'

'It was…..it was….it….''she could not catch her breath for a moment : her face hot and burning red,eyes-half closed….This was a completely new feeling for her, her heart was pounding wildly.  
Why did she like it so much?…..Was she supposed to feel that way when this kiss, her first lovers kiss, was not shared with... -

NO - don't think, don't think, don't remember - even his name….

'…it was wonderful sensation.'

Then she pulled down his face with her hands and kissed him clumsy and shyly back.

'You are quite a begginer,you know'...Asuma kind laughter was ringing like a crystal bell in her ears.

'Well- you knew that ,didn't you...Wonder where did YOU get your kissing experience from'- she smiled back,amused herself by her kissing skills.

His smile became mysterious and wickedness crawled in his golden eyes.

''I was born gifted,didin't you know? As I matter of fact, I suspected you would be inexperienced in romance....Well- it is time for some kissing lessons then.'

Yunoki lifted his bride,holding her in his arms and brought her to the altar of their vow : the wedding bed.  
He laid her down like she was the most precious piece of porcelain and for one long moment gazed in her eyes, savouring every detail of their innocence…  
Then lowered down his face to meet her lips again..but this time tenderly, softly parting them, feeling their taste with all his senses.  
After a while his lips traced their path down her neck to the soft spot behind her ear,and then back to her lips. He covered all her face and neck with light,gentle kisses.

Kahoko laid there,indulging in the wonderful world of new sensations this man, her husband was bringing to her…..But suddenly a vague image appeared in her mind,and she could not manage erasing it this time:LEN !

'AZUMA-san,please!!'

'What is it Kahoko,did I hurt you by chance?

"No….it's just…it's…just that I need my space for a while…I'm sorry…I…

'No need to appologise - I'm a patient man….i can least I hope you enjoyed even a little your first evening of being Yunoki' - Azuma knew very well what was going in his wife's soul.

'Yes, thank you Asuma san - I really did. You made me....forget,..even for a while….' - somehow she could not look him in the eye this time.

He bent one last time to brush her forehead with his lips.  
Then he held her chin between his tender fingers, making her face him…

'Has someone told you you're very cute as a bride Hino Kahoko. If I could do that, I would marry you every day. Good night. Sweet dreams - if you need me,j ust call for me. I will be near by.'

Her eyes followed him as he closed the door and disappeared in the night.  
Shivers went down her spine once she was alone…suddenly it felt chilly.  
Kahoko was still dressed in her wedding gown, her hair was a little messed-up, and her cheeks still warm and rosy from the kisses….

She really liked it - being touched and kissed by that beautiful man, posessed by darkness. …somehow : she trusted him. But still, he was not enough to silence the voice of her heart .  
And that voice name was not Yunoki.

Somewhere , from a distance and very faintly, she heard violin sounds. She let a deep sigh out.

Kahoko undressed the splendid wedding gown and slipped into a silky nightgown, meant for her first wedding night.

Was that how her wedding night was supposed to be - sleeping alone in this huge bed…She felt bad and guilty for sending Yunoki away , but..she just could not bring herself to more intimacy, at least – not now….  
And he was burning with desire – although still inexperienced, she knew that much.  
Staying with her this night as she was now,would not be fair to him.

What did she feel for Yunoki sama?

Could she ever love him?

At least she could try…she felt comfortable once in his arms, enjoyed her first kiss with him and knew she could stare in these deep,sometimes gentle,sometimes cruel eyes forever.  
May be that's a start…if only this image didn't show up whenever it wanted , it would be so much easier…….  
Lost in confusing thoughts,tired from all the emotions, she closed her eyes .The God of dreams unnoticably laid his gifts upon this newly-wed bride.

Someone was holding her gently,yet tightly : never to let go. She knew so well that proud, arrogant face, these fine features, that vague smile.

LEN !!!

She was dreaming with a smile on her lips…

In the far distance the violin sound slowly faded away.... a new sound, a deeper sound of a dark,beautiful melody appeared....

Flute....

ENJOY !!!

__________________


End file.
